I just got out of seeing Brokeback Mountain. It took about 10 minutes to leave after the credits started rolling, because they decided to lock us in the theater. The guys in the theater started getting rather physical with the door in a way that wasn’t totally respectful of the door’s feelings, and the guys who weren’t close enough to the door to inflict injury upon it were yelling suggestions for ways to harm the door. It was rather comical.
We weren’t sure if it was some sort of social experiment to see how long people freak out after seeing a movie about two men who love each other very, very much, in only that way that two men who love each other very, very much can love each other very, very much, or if they were just being careless. I choose the latter, but the former would be interesting. Alas, we were freed and left the theater, not saying anything to the movie theater staff. This is not how things would have gone in the US.
Torv is Danish for square or market. In Denmark, there are all manner of Torvs. There are royal torvs, both old and ny. There is a West Gate Torv, which is a good torv if you are looking for my apartment or overpriced produce. There is also a torv which should not be missed:
FisketorvetToday, I visited the old fish market, now one of Denmark’s largest shopping malls today to see München and learn a little bit about Denmark’s mall nd shopping culture. I am also hunting thermals in a color other than black. I think they are in season, so it is legal to hunt light-colored thermals. I asked the clerk at Stadium (this is a Dane’s idea of a creative name for a sporting goods store) if they have any color other than black. He told me that they are nearly sold out of thermals. Because Danes are genetically predisposed to not help you if it is at all possible to be of absolutely no help, the clerk asked me what color I was looking for. I said, “I don’t know…white?” To which he responded that black is the only color they carry. So why ask!?
I learned that in Denmark, it is best to see short movies, lest you pay the “whole evening” surcharge. It does not matter that you enter the theater at 12:00 to see a 12:30 movie. If the movie lasts more than 2 hours, it is a “whole evening” film. Actaully, this makes sense. Here’s how I figure it. 3 hour movie begins at 12:30. You get out at around 4. Look outside. Is it daytime? No way. This is Denmark, after all. So, you have just spent “the whole evening” in the movie theater. Do not try to argue that 4PM is evening. Trust me, I’m the one on this island. 4PM is night time. Between 3:53 and 3:58 is evening. That’s twilight, you say? No, that is 3:47 until 3:52. And what about 4:17? That is the time that you have to put your lights on your bike. Don’t mess…I read WeekendAvisen. The fact that you had the audacity to stay through the whole movie means that it is only socially right and just that you pay another 20 DKK (USD3.50).
Before the movie, I decided to get lunch at the shawarma hut in the food court. The interesting thing about this experience was that they noticed I was not a native speaker of Danish, so decided to speak to me in English. The only problem with this is that my Danish was way better than their English.
Shawarma guy: What do you want for a dressing?
Me: No dressing.
Shawarma guy: Mayonaise?
Me: No mayonaise.
Shawarma guy: Catsup?
Me: No catsup.
Shawarma guy: Mayonaise?
Thank god for food courts. Actually, I’d like to take the shawarma hut proprietors to food court. My drink was small and my fries soggy.
I got an email this morning from the records office at Golden Gate, apologizing for a misprint in the list of Witkin Award recipients. Apparently, someone else was listed as having received the Witkin for Real Property, when it actually went to me. Also, he informed me that I received the CALI in Intellectual Property. Continue reading "Witkin Award Matters" »
My love affair with the concept of a white winter wonderland the Danish meteorological authorities that Denmark would get around 3-10 inches of snow in 48 hours. The reality of snow in Denmark is that because it snows so rarely, the country ceases to function when it snows. Our trip to Helsingør was fun, despite not making it to Kronborg (Hamlet’s castle, sort of). We were having a good time at the International People’s College, and the weather was so bad, we decided to hang out there longer and come home somewhat early. Pictures of our adventure can be found here:
http://homepage.mac.com/jluros/PhotoAlbum41.html
and here:
http://homepage.mac.com/jluros/PhotoAlbum42.html
Ok, so in Denmark, you eat a bread that you can’t find in the US. It’s called rugbrød. It’s like pumpernickel, but it’s got seriously big seeds or kernels. Who knows how it stays together? Anyways, you put butter on it (butter goes on every piece of bread in this country; to do otherwise constitutes some sort of treason, because butter is like the national product). Then, you put some other food media on the butter/bread palette. Possible options: whipped honey, salami/ham/turkey/roast beef/other meat product, nutella, thin chocolate slices (I prefer milk to dark), nutella, cheese and/or jam. We can eat zillions of calories here because we are always out in the freezing cold weather either biking or walking. Danes really eat like crap, but they also burn more calories than any group I’ve ever spent time with. My favorite combination right now is whipped honey and ham. It’s kind of like honey-smoked ham, but different. Anyways, Danes eat this (smørrebrød) for pretty much any meal. I’ve been eating it for dinner lately. What do I have for breakfast? Pastry. I feel like if I was burning this many calories back home…I dunno…It’s wierd..
I put “wow” in my translator software, to see what ‘wow’ is in French, and it told me, that if I want to fool my friends into thinking I really know French, that I should use the phrase, ‘défaut de la reproduction sonore,’ to show them my French prowess and knowledge of the phrase ‘wow’. So, just to be sure, because it seemed rather long for the word “wow,” I reverse translated that phrase back to English and I got: Defect of the sound reproduction. Sometimes, I feel like computers are out to get me. It’s like being plotted against by an mischievous army of retards.. Sure, it’s rather paranoid, but if you had my experience with computers, you’d feel the same way.
Today is a walking day. What I can’t believe is that it’s still snowing…it just keeps coming and coming…just like those damn Jehovah’s witnesses. Speaking of, there is a Kirke of Scientologi down the street from my apartment. They’re giving out free stress tests (Gratis stressprøve! Er du stresset?) . Somehow, I feel that some things just don’t translate well (and shouldn’t). However, if they’re in my neighborhood, they can’t be doing all that badly.
I went to a karaoke bar for my birthday. Who knew, before yesterday, that I would learn there is a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea that needs help? Aparently, Danish dance music experts have been busy at work since my last stay coming up with the most mindless lyrics possible. The saga of Barbie and Ken brought Danish culture forward to compete with the US, where such hits as “Move, bitch, get out the way” and “It’s getting hot in here” really set the high water mark musically. However, “Litte Yellow Fish” with its interrogation, “Do you wanna take a whalebus – wanna meet a stupid shark? Do you wanna ride a seahorse or hide in an oyster park?” put Denmark way ahead. Although this song started as a children’s video, using it in a dance song is cultural genius.
We also went ice skating. 
Well, you’ll be happy to know that law students are the same the world over. I was hanging out with some Australian law students, and the first thing we did after our orientation was to take a shop keeper to task for selling a phone card that didn’t last as long as he said it would. Actually, it wasn’t my issue, because I use Skype, but it was nice to see that no bad act goes undisputed by a law student somewhere in the world. And then, we went shopping.
Danish classes began today, and we talked about the Danish naming laws (you have to get unusual names approved by the government; sorry, but that means most of us, unless you happen to be named Lars). If there are fewer than 2000 people in the country with the name, that makes the name unusual. I wonder if there are 2000 Jasons in Denmark? Not likely. Anyways, I’m totally procrastinating from my Danish homework, so I’m actually going to go and do it so I can go to bed. No more yankie my wankie. The Donger needs food.
I made a goose today. It was tasty. It took a long time. Here is what this experience has taught me: If you’re going to try something new, try it with family, because even if it sucks (which it thankfully didn’t), they will pretend to enjoy it. I also learned not to trust others to keep your goose warm. Contrary to popular misconception, goose is not the dish that is best served cold. Rather, that would be revenge.
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